Stuck, Stuck, Stuck!!!!

The scale has once again become my foe… it is stuck and refuses to move no matter what I do.  I’m hoping that by posting this some sort of magic will occur and the whoosh fairy will have mercy on me and pay me a visit tonight and sprinkle me with her sparkly fairy dust and the scale will magically go whoosh downward in the morning!   Yep… I’m willing to believe in the whoosh fairy if it’ll work!

But seriously, it went down and has been stuck for 4 days straight.  I’m going to start cutting my carbs back even more and see if I can’t get this moving again.  I’m getting so close to my goal… and soooo close to the deadline of this contest…. I won’t be where I wanted to be… but I want to be as close as possible!

Feelin’ Good!!!! Happy Saturday!

I woke up feeling terrible, but that has given way to me feeling fantastic today!  I feel leaner and like I’m finally fully back on track!  The scale hit a new low for me, but I’m not officially weighing until next Wednesday… I just couldn’t wait and had to sneak a peak!  

I have a super busy day today trying to get the house back in order after a trying week… but tonight is about fun!  I get to go to Medieval Times… I’ve never been.. and can’t decide whether it will be a cool experience… or a bit cheesy!   Guess we’ll see.  Either way,  I guess it’s more about getting out and having fun… I get to meet some new people and see some that I haven’t seen in a long time… I know I’ll have a good time!  The menu is a bit sparse and they don’t carry the “rabbit food” , as my friend calls it, that I normally eat… but if I stick with the protein and veggies… I should make it out unscathed.

I really wanted to get in a cardio session today, but it doesn’t look like the clock is gonna be on my side… I may squeeze out a mini whole body workout today with my fitness bands.  I’m pretty surprised at how effective these bands are depending on the amount of resistance you allow.  I definitely feel it when I use them.

Ok… off to accomplish the days work… Have a Great Saturday!!!

Hhhmmm… just not feeling that well…

I’ve been struggling with exhaustion and weakness the last week or so. I’m sleeping ALOT… or should I say napping a lot.  I don’t know what’s going on with me. I do believe that I’m ODing on caffeine though… I’m a total coffee addict and drink it all day long in between bottles of water. So this morning I switched over to hot tea and I’m gonna see if that helps.  I’m also gonna drag my behind back into the gym. I’ve had several days off and just felt to weak and tired to commit… but I’m going to at least do cardio today and see how I feel.  

My diet has been pretty stellar. Lots of leafy greens and lean protein.  I’m happy and content with my diet and have no cravings for junk… which is SO nice!   My biggest downfall at this point, if you can call it that, is good cheese!  I keep tossing yummy crumbled Gorgonzola or blue cheese into my salads and I know I would be better off without the added fat, but it’s so delicious and really adds something to my salads… so as long as the scale keeps going down… the cheese stays!

A Southern Wedding Weekend!

I must admit, that even though I have been doing much better about sticking to my plan and my workouts have been great, I was a bit worried about this weekend.  My cousin got married in a beautiful little historic town in Mississippi, roughly 8 hours away.  Road trips have always been a challenge for me diet wise.  It is usually one long food fest of greasy dives and yummy new finds… but not this weekend!  With the help of my trusty little cooler I mentioned in the previous post and some wise choices… the weekend was not all lost.  There were certainly deviations… such as several mimosas during our pampering session and of course a few too many carbs at the reception… and more champagne   But for the most part I was able to make wise choices and steer clear of many of the pitfalls that I used to jump into head first.   We’ll see tomorrow if there is any damage done on the scale,  but I’m guessing probably not. 

I’m looking forward to this new week.  I’ll be cleaning out the fridge tomorrow and making way for more pre-prepped foods for my little cooler.  I have 3 intense lifting sessions planned as well as 6 cardio sessions!  I’m also starting back to occupational therapy for my left hand.  I had developed what they believe to be something like a pain disorder and just wasn’t able to make any progress because the unending pain of therapy had finally messed with my head so to speak, but after taking a few months off, and making a bit of progress on my own, my therapist thinks that we may actually be able to get my middle finger to start to bend the way it’s suppose to… Oh, I hope so!  The therapy is horrendous… it’s kind of like volunteering to be tortured for an hour once or twice a week…. but as is the case with fitness…. no pain, no gain! 

One of the most valuable  things that I have learned through this last year, is to just get over myself!  LOL.  I used to have such a lazy, self-limiting mindset… I never wanted to do anything that made me too uncomfortable… pushed me too hard… was painful to me either mentally,  physically or emotionally… guess what?  That’s all of life!  Growth and change are painful… they do not come easily… to grow you must stretch beyond your current limits… you must reach those uncomfortable places that are so unfamiliar and scary.   I love the quote “Feel the Fear… and Do it Anyway!”  It says exactly what is necessary for true growth and change.  All of those success stories… all of those people who have done the very things you dream about…. do you think that it all just came easily to them? That they woke up one morning and everything was in place and ready for them to simply take the prize?  Nope!  Everyone who achieves true greatness… who does something extraordinary with their lives… fought for it… they went through the pain of growth and change and challenges, set backs and disappointments….. And Kept Going!  They faced the fear and did it anyway…. because the payoff is so worth the sacrifice of a little comfort!

Fitness on the Road….

In one hour it will be time for me to hit the road for my cousin’s wedding,  roughly 8 hours and 2 1/2 states away.  Luckily I will not be driving for any of it…. yay!   I have packed my trusty little cooler with my new favorite yummy salad (recipe to come),  Turkey Lettuce Wraps, Cocoa Roasted Almonds (review to come… oh yeah… YUM), and several small bags of turkey breast meat in case… I don’t know… I’m stuck somewhere with no protein.   I could actually use an extra cooler, but will just have to make do with this one, and try my best to make wise choices when we are eating out.  

I have been feeling fantastic! Workouts have been tough, but good. Meghan and I decided to up the weight I’m lifting for this last month of the contest… try and get those muscles to pop a bit.   She is KILLING ME…. but I love her… and am soooo glad she’s there to push me! 

The scale is my friend again… moving down, after being up a few pounds.   I’m not taking any bands or weights or anything with me, but will probably just work on my flexibility during any down time in the hotel this weekend.  I have been greatly neglecting this part of my fitness routine and I can feel it… all over! So, no more slacking on the stretching.

Post Thanksgiving Bliss!

I’ve gotta be honest… I did not eat clean on Thanksgiving. I ate dressing and sweet potato casserole and even pumpkin tart… yum, yum, yum!  I ate and I was on a happy little carb high for a full day!  I’m past it now and back to my clean, competition diet and don’t feel one shred of guilt… and I am thankful for that.  I truly feel like I’ve gotten something out of my system… like I was feeling deprived without even knowing it and this one meal totally cured it! 

I decided to have Thanksgiving with my best friend instead of staying home with family. This year I just needed to do something completely different than what we used to do with my husband… and it was a fantastic decision! I feel happy and relaxed instead of sad and anxious.  Whenever I visit my friend Hilary I always feel like I’m on the best little mini vacations. She lives in a small town in southern Alabama… there’s not alot to do… but I always feel more peaceful and centered when I’m here. 

I brought my exercise band with me and plan to knock out an arm workout and then we’re gonna take my lil’ miss on a hike and then to the playground.  A nice, relaxing, fit sort of day!  Diet so far is great, and got my morning supplements in.   Not sure about dinner yet… probably a chicken stir fry… we’ll see.

44 Days! – 147.2lbs…. ugh… wasted time!

I am so disappointed that I have wasted so many days… weeks… piddling around and not staying focused.  I’m not going to start beating myself up over it though… what’s done is done… and blasting myself and breaking down my faults is NOT going to help me in my drive to the finish line!

I’ve been pretty spot on for days and have dropped back down the few pounds that I’ve been playing with the last few weeks… the scale is moving downward again!!! Yay!  I’m trying my best… I can maintain like nobody’s business, but my diet has to be spot on to lose the pounds. 

To say that this is a stressful time for me is a gross understatement.  There is so much stress and emotional turmoil in my life right now… I told a friend that it almost feels like I’ve jumped in to the deep end of the pool and then realized I can’t swim.  I’m floating in the midst of all this grief, sadness, stress, and anxiety and I feel as though I might go under… but I keep treading water… I keep moving forward… I just keep moving.  I don’t know what else to do.  It feels as though my mind is just gonna freak out and stop working at any moment… as though it’s just gonna say to me “ok.. that’s it… I’m overloaded and can’t process another damn thing!”  And I guess that’s the key here… I can’t seem to process any of this stuff… I just keep moving through it… not looking too closely at any one thing… just keep moving… stay afloat…. but at what point do I just get too damn tired to paddle anymore?  Anyone out there got a life preserver?

Wanted: Motivation and Sense of Purpose Again….

Ok… I was back to being Debbie Downer!  I won’t bore you all with the details of my sadness… it’s not the point of this post.  This post is about the fact that I’ve allowed external forces to influence my once steely resolve.  I’ve allowed my heartbreak to turn into a complete lack of motivation and self control…. absolutely unacceptable!  One has nothing to do with the other.  Just because my personal life is… well, a mess… does not have anything to do with the fact that I still need to live a healthy lifestyle… I still have a competition to win… and I still have to be the strong-willed woman that I am!   The fact is, it’s crunch time… the deadline is fast approaching and I have a long way to go… roughly 35lbs… not an easy feat… NOT the time to be slacking.  

I’ve let my goal… my vision… my focus… slip away.  I know I’m not alone in this… I know other woman, and men for that matter, struggle with this very thing day in and day out.  What I do now… What I CHOOSE to do now… determines whether I’m a Champion… or just another competitor.   It’s time to regain my focus… find the eye of the tiger, so to speak, hehe…. is that the Rocky theme music I hear in the background…. I think it is!   I totally need to make a video with a training montage! I love those!  And I need to go rent Rocky IV right now… come on… you all know that was the best one!

Leg Day… Oh, How I Love and Hate Thee…..

Well, my brooding is over… yay! I know you all must be quite relieved… I hated hearing myself whine like that! LOL   I’m a tough girl… I hate that feeling of brokeness… but today is a new day.  I feel much more leveled out, rational and clear.  

I almost feel guilty when things that are so hard and so heart wrenching don’t keep me down longer…. is that weird?  But honestly, it’s as though the logical side of my brain kicks in and says “Ok girl… you gonna sit around whinin’ like a big baby or get on it with it already…. what’s mopin’ around gonna do for ya?”  Clearly the logical side of my brain sounds like some burly man with bad grammar… but regardless… makes a lot of sense!  Having been through this year… I’ve developed a teflon coating of sorts… still haven’t figured out if that’s a good thing or not.  But it’s as though nothing sticks to me.  When someone makes me angry or sad or dissappointed… it just doesn’t stick. I’m completely over it within a matter of hours… a day at the most…. it’s really odd.  

Now… onto the day at hand!  I am working around the house today, making phone calls and trying to decide what I’ll be making for lunch… ’cause this girl is hungry!  I have an appointment with my trainer at 5…. leg day!  I both love and hate leg day with a fiery passion!  I love that my legs are getting smaller and leaner… I love that my tush is beginning to migrate back to where it should be …. and I love how strong I feel…..  BUT, oh how I loathe the squats and lunges! I like doing the weighted machines and don’t even mind the deadlifts and such…. but oh those squats and lunges… especially lunges!  But as with most things that comprise a healthy life…. the sacrifice is worth it! Always, Always, Always Worth It!

54 Days – Must… Do… Cardio….

Ugh… I am feeling incredibly lazy today!  I have been a bit of a grump today… a lil’ crabby…. kinda pouty… ok, a big sulky baby!  And… I have yet to go to the gym for my cardio.  Just not feelin’ it.  I know… I know… and I may go after I put Em to bed…. but well… you and I  both know that probably ain’t happenin’! hehe

I have to be there at 7:30 in the morning for cardio… so I may just call today a rest day and go to bed at 8 o’clock again like I did last night!  I don’t know what’s up with me… I’m just exhausted! So sleepy all the time!   I could go to bed right now and sleep all night…. oooh that sounds nice…. don’t think the 4 year old will let me get away with it though!

Diet has been stellar today though.  Yummy Blueberry Smoothie for brekkie, Mmmmm Mmmm Chinese food for lunch, Natural Peanut Butter on a spoon midday (ok, I know PB is NOT a meal replacement! hehe) And
I’m thinking Roast Turkey Breast and Green Beans for Dinner…. then off to Sleepy Town!