Family, Friends & UFC… Good Saturday!

It was a good day today… maybe not 100% on the food, but a good life day!  I slept in late then lounged a bit and enjoyed my coffee while perusing recipes, did a couple loads of laundry and felt the need for a nap. It was wonderful! One of those middle-of-the-day naps that feels decadent and almost sinfully wonderful… and I felt no guilt…               just aaahhhhhhh! 

I woke up, got dressed and my daughter and I went to dinner with my family. It was really nice to all be together and Mmmmmm Steak! I am indeed an unashamed, unabashed carnivore!  Then my sweet little brother suggested I join him and some friends to watch the UFC fight… Lesnar vs. Couture.  It was good… I really enjoyed myself.  We just hung out with some old friends and new friends and watched the fights.  Then came the main event… I actually felt my adrenaline start pumping.  I really like Randy Couture… he’s a good guy… but Brock Lesnar is a beast!  The weight, size and age difference were staggering.   I will say though that Couture was in great shape, and Lesnar was looking a bit soft… and more than once I thought Couture just might wear him down enough for a win… Lesnar was looking tired… real tired…. but in the end The Beast took it!

Then we went to a local bar and hung out for a while and I got to see a dear friend I haven’t seen in months… I’ve missed you girl!  And got to spend quite a long time just talking to my brother…. which was really, really nice!  For most of our life, we didn’t get along very well, but over this last year he has been so great… so sweet and supportive and we’ve gotten really close… and I’m grateful for that! 

So now it’s 3am and I am SO ready for bed! Gonna get up early and hit the grocery store and come back and make up my meals for the next few days… I’ll be back tomorrow to post my meal plan and how I’m going about the food prep.  Night

Ok… Some Brooding & Just a ‘Lil Ice Cream :)

Ok.. still struggling through my brooding, broodiness… still blue and discontent about the personal side of my life…. I don’t deal well with other people’s drama… it makes me… well… moody, duh… I think that’s obvious, huh?  I like harmony… I like a world where… what’s that line… ah.. everyone eats rainbows and poops butterflies! hehe…. I like sunshine and kittens and… well… you get the picture.   And for some reason… my current personal situation, seems to be a mixed forecast at all times.  If Monday was light and happy and wonderful…. watch out for Tuesday… ’cause a storm will be comin’.                 

Every time I start to feel safe and happy and close to something real…. well… the tide turns and the dark clouds start to roll in… and everything is shaken violently and I’m torn to pieces for a few days while someone works through whatever it is this time… and inevitably… the clouds part and suddenly everything is suppose to be ok again…. but the truth is… I’m just plain tired at this point.  I’m heading into… heck… I’m smack dab in the middle of the worst two months since the weeks following the accident.  THIS was my husband’s time of year… the time he lived for all year long… this was to be Abby’s first Christmas…. I’m barely keeping it together on the inside… guess I seem fine and dandy on the outside… but I just can’t handle any extra drama right now.  I need the people I love to be there for me right now… I need to FEEL loved and cared for and appreciated… I need stability and distraction and comfort… because there simply isn’t room in my soul for more heartache and drama and pain.   

Wow… you guys give me cheap therapy, you know that?  I get to pour my heart out to the masses… ok, ok.. the handful of you who actually read my little blog, hehe … and for some reason… it makes me feel better. 

Sooooo… after a dismal and rather sad attempt at working out tonight… (but hey, it was something, right?)  I’m going to tuck my daughter snuggly into bed… curl up in my huge, quishy bed… wrapped in my huge, squishy down comforter and watch The Holiday and fall madly in love with both Jack Black and Jude Law all over again and eat Blue Bunny Lite Ice cream to my hearts content!  A girl just has to compromise sometimes…. I think a little exercise and lite ice cream are a nice compromise on a night like tonight….

Goodnight all…. tomorrow is a brighter day… I just know it!

But I Don’t Wanna Workout…….

I find it fascinating that when my personal life is off… when things are just blah and I’m ill tempered and unhappy…. I have no desire to do the things that will make me feel better.  Exercise always makes me feel better. There is nothing that can turn my mood around like an hour of busting my tail on the treadmill with hip hop blasting from my ipod…. and yet… all I WANT to do is crawl under the covers with a pint of ice cream and watch a sappy chick flick and wallow in my discontent.  But alas… I cannot allow the wallowing… which only makes me want to wallow more… it’s a vicious, vicious cycle I tell you!   Lucky for me, I have a date with my trainer this evening at 5, because if it were left to me today…. I’d have a date with Ben & Jerry and maybe Tom Hanks or John Cusack! hehe

I promise that within a day or two I’ll be a little ray of sunshine once again…. but until then…. please tolerate my ramblings and sullen, moodiness…. and I’ll try not to be THAT bad!

Ugh… Time To Detox!

For the first month or more on this program I had absolutely no problems with cravings or even a desire to eat off plan, but after sneaking off plan foods here and there for about a week and a half…. I realized that my body has become addicted to the junk again. For a few days now I have honestly tried to only eat clean foods according to my plan… yet crave and even sometimes give in and eat things like a flour tortilla, a cheeseburger!, and worst of all several mini candy bars raided from my daughters Halloween stash (I don’t even really like sweets!) Blech… I feel gross!

During my training session with Meghan last night, I fessed up to my disasterous eating and the fact that I only have roughly 60 days until the end of this competition…. Not the time to be losing my focus!
So I have decided that I just need to detox my system and get back to the basics… the way I started this plan. I know that in less than a week all of this junk will be out of my system and my body will be running like a machine again. I’ll feel good and the cravings will be gone! I’m already feeling stronger and more resolved. I was able to bypass every little thing that caught my eye this morning and go for my wholesome oatmeal instead! And all the Halloween candy has been put away in a drawer… out of sight, out of mind! In fact… I think I may throw out any of the candies that I would find tempting and only keep the things that do not appeal to me at all. I let my daughter have 2 pieces a day as a treat so I won’t get rid of it all, but at least eliminate the temptation for myself.

I also feel like it’s definitely time to step up my workouts. Because of being busy or being out here and there… I’m only averaging 4 cardio sessions a week and 3 weight training. I really need to commit myself to being at that gym every morning Mon-Sat. for AM cardio… keep my weight training sessions with Meghan 3 evenings a week and follow those with 30 minutes in the infared sauna. I think that by doing that… I will see a dramatic change in my body fairly quickly. 

I definitely think that it’s time for me to begin keeping a detailed log of my food and drink intake.  That should really help to keep me accountable…. especially if I post it here!  I’ve seen many of the fitnes pros… including Tosca Reno, talk about keeping a detailed log of both food intake and workouts… it really is the only way to see what works for you and what doesn’t.  Months from now… if my progress starts to slow, I’ll be able to look back and see what I was eating, what supplements I was taking, what my workouts were like… and see what the difference is.

Away too long again… but excited about the new changes!

I’ve been MIA again for almost 2 weeks… I can’t believe it’s been so long since I last checked in! I was, yet again, going through some personal issues and sort of off in my own little world… but I’m back!

My life has been quite a roller coaster lately… so much drama and… and… well, so much weird, unbelievable drama I guess is the best way to put it. I definitely found myself consumed by my situation… euphoric one day… devastated the next… it’s been difficult. But, things have settled down now and although I’m feeling a bit sad and broken and wishing there was a way for things to work out…

I can tell that I’m already feeling more like myself again!

I’ve gotten more accomplished in the last 3 days then I have in the last 3 weeks!

I hope you’ve all noticed that our little blog has a whole new look! I’m really excited to start making some changes and get some new articles up… not just my dailies… AND… I’m putting out an invitation to all of you to submit any clean eating recipes that you have. I’ll test it… post the recipe with a review and a link back to your website or blog! I’ll be putting out a post with more information later.